Tuesday 05-24-2016

Jennifer walks through her house sobbing, saying “I can’t do this, it hurts too much” and she gets her purse and heads for the door.  Lucas is there, asking if she wants help.  She cries and says she does.  They go inside and talk; she mentions having hiding spots all over the house before, digging pills out of the garbage… and now she sees Abby slipping away, it’s so hard.  But everything hit her when Chad refused to let her watch the baby overnight because he didn’t trust her – he told her he felt she could be a danger to her grandson.  She went home and flushed everything she had down the toilet.  Now she’s panicking.  She recalls how desperate she’s been in the past to get them, how far would she go, she wondered.  Lucas commends her for getting rid of the pills and for calling him over to help her; then he gives her a lesson about labeling, when she refers to herself as a junkie (he reminds her they are addicts, and addiction is a disease).  She argues that she’s still in pain, though… maybe she could still take them and just be more careful – he invites her to a meeting tomorrow.  He vows not to leave her alone to deal with this ever again.  Jennifer says she feels stupid, weak and ashamed… he tells her to lose those feelings.  She’s no different than anyone else.  He tells her to get some sleep and he will stay right there and clean up quietly until it’s time for the meeting.  

Jennifer wakes up on the couch, with Abby yelling at her, asking where the baby is; she tells her he was out in the driveway, crawling around… she tells her mom goodbye – says she’s not there anyway.  She of all people should have understood what was happening to her; Abby asks, “where were you?”  Abby hands her a bottle of pills, saying it’s no wonder JJ is where he is… later, Jennifer stands in a jailhouse; there’s a bottle of pills on the table.  She opens them.   JJ walks in and asks if she’s going to share and begs her for some.  He mocks her; then they tell her it’s time to go, back to her cell.  The officer is someone she knows (but I don’t, Jack?).  She refuses to go – the jailer asks her when the last time she laughed was, if she’s forgotten.  She recalls some old memories.  She tells the man that girl is gone; she died when he died.  

Meanwhile, Lucas calls someone and tells him or her Jennifer is sleeping but he doesn’t think she will sleep through the night.  Her dream continues, as she explains how he always left, he was always leaving them, how she had to raise the kids alone because he was never there… and then finally, they got their act together – they were one heart.  Then he was gone.  She sits down and talks about the house, her parents house, so many ghosts, so much space; and now the kids are gone and with him gone, she feels like she’s gone.  She no loner has a ‘title’ (someone’s mom, someone’s aunt, etc); now she’s alone.  She asks why he’s there – he says he remembers… tells her to seize the day, she’s free, she’s a blank page… she can make herself whatever she wants.  He tells her to write, to write a whole story; she says that sounds tiring.  He tells her she has help all around her; she takes a pill.  

She wakes up screaming, still on the couch; her aunt, Julie, and uncle are there.  They promise to look after her… they say they are moving back in.  Jennifer goes back to sleep in her bed.  She wakes up alone, and decides to get up, falling out of bed, she finds pills under the bed frame.  Julie walks in and catches her opening them, tries to take them from her and Jennifer hits her (slapping her across the face).  She immediately cringes and hugs her, crying, says she’s sorry – Julie forgives her.  Julie wakes up next and finds Jennifer gone; but she’s just downstairs getting ready to go to the meeting with Lucas.  He walks her in; Brady and Maggie are there too, in support of her and for themselves.  Maggie encourages Jennifer to get up and speak; she announces that this is her first meeting ever, but not her last, then introduces herself, and admits that she’s an addict.  Pretty good episode.

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